This is About Sara

This is About Sara

Who is Sara?  Before talking about her, let me talk about weddings, marriage, and my blog by the same name. 

My blog 

About Weddings and Marriage is a blog I started years ago; I forgot the year.  My interest in it developed by the inexplicable consequences these two brings into every individual's life.  They make and break lives, sent men and women despondent. Two people entered the throne of their life as the happy man and woman amidst a cheerful crowd turn preposterous enemies and plan and execute the murder of the other, mostly women.  

Some women prolong in this bondage that is comparable to the labour bondage that existed during legal slavery.  What is happening intrigues, bothers as well as inspires me.  The stories are never static, fresh, and evolve.

I posted my ideas and observations on my blog, but due to other commitments, they got sparse.  Recently my interest took a spark of revival, the reason, the research I did for my story-Under the Bakula Tree, soon getting published.  And I ask the following questions again.

Is a wedding the same as a marriage? 

Many people take to use the terms interchangeably.  But they are different; a wedding is a social/public celebration at the height of which a man and a woman are coupled in a ritual or a ceremony into a lifelong relationship, marriage.  Among Kerala Hindus, this ritual is known as tying- the-knot; Christians exchange the rings.  

Marriage is expected to be a lifelong relationship between the couples, and the wedding is the ritual initiating them into that institution, the atom of the society.  A wedding involves preparations like a wedding plan, wedding venue, wedding cake, reception, photography, video-making, musicals, dance, honeymoon, etc.  All these preparations are structured in line with the social affluence, fashion, and styles and, of course, following religious formalities.  The nature and the style of these celebrations evolve with time, and families use it as a platform to exhibit their money power to turn the marriage alliance into a new business.

This is the story of the modern-day wedding and marriage. My guess is this wasn't always the case.  How was it in the traditional times?  If you search google for weddings in traditional Kerala, you find nothing other than Hindu, Christian, and Muslim weddings, no Kerala weddings.  The category indicates, they are religious weddings initiated in the religious era.  

There was a social system before religions took over Kerala is commonsense thinking.  But that history has been completely erased, eradicated, or appropriated by those who encroached into it to create a new history, a rigged-up story, and culture.  There is no evidence of it does not mean its absence.

In the religious period, religious leaders set new rules for the people and the society to accept their primacy and control.   Patriarchy is such a rule in which the power of each household got vested with the father or the male members.  Women were their target, and the wedding was the key to yoke them to the structured confinement--bloodline the central idea of social control.  The wedding portfolio fell under the purity control department of religion/s and the business of the family elders. 

Under such religious marriage, women live until the end of their lives whether they find the situations agreeable or not.  The wedding ceremonies got set as per matters of religious customs and God.  Women simply fulfilled the central business of a community or a family --the procreation, wealth generation, and the bloodline-- running as the pokes of the societal wheels.  Marriages and weddings were commitments and duties; individual interests took no priority.

Things changed

Things have changed now.  In the democratic era, marriage transformed to adopt the qualities of an institution heeding the couple's interest, love, happiness, care, property, inheritance, and children.  Despite those socio-legal parameters set into it, men take the primary roles, and women, considered a weak category needing protection, take the welfare duties.  

Democracy in India didn't break down the vast distinctions in religions, castes, sects, and genders. The major identity of most people is still religion playing a role in maintaining their distinctions, developing separate religious consciousness and belief systems.  The role of the rituals and ceremonies of weddings and marriages play a crucial role in that.  Separate religions have distinct wedding ceremonies and separate marriage laws or personal laws-- Hindu marriage laws, Muslim marriage laws etc.  

Attempts to formulating these separate laws into a uniform civil code have a long history earlier than Indian independence. The latest is the ruling BJP government's attempt to pass the legislation for the uniform civil code to have a common marriage/personal law for all. 


A new dimension of the wedding ceremonies and rituals in the contemporary capitalist era is dowry.  A woman's value is pledged completely in terms of the money tag attached to her.  A ruthlessly ambitious class of young Kerala men sees women as the source of capital to reach heights and fulfil their material ambitions.  

I mentioned my story Under the Bakula Tree. Sara, its main character, is a complete victim of Kerala's exploitative marriage and dowry system.  

Who is Sara?

The photo from Pexels Yndira Dejesus

In my first post to this HalfMarathon, I wrote:  In this creative marathon running from today, 1 August to 15 August, I will consider different background elements of creativity setting the stage for publishing my debut piece of fiction, a short story, available soon on Kindle Edition.  'Under the Bakula Tree' is what I could not publish with Blog-chatter E-book.  Thank you, the e-book team members, for making this possible for me, 

This post 2 is part of Blogchatter Half Marathon.


  1. Wedding and marriage are entirely different - agreed. Wedding is for society while marriage is personal. I like how you laid out the details of each. Things may have changed but not so much...we are still a backward society and it will take continuous education and awareness to bring about true change.

    1. Thank you for the detailed read of the post. I don't see us as a backward but a resilent people. We have to bring to the forefront the hideous nature for attention and resolve. And we need a united voice that is lacking.


Post a Comment

Contact Form


Email *

Message *

Popular posts from this blog

Pagan roots of Christian Weddings

Was it a two-timing that went sour or a foul play by criminals?

Challenges of old age